Never mind the rampant corruption. Never mind our presidents big house paid for by our taxes. Never mind the crime. What follows is a horrifying list of all that is truly going wrong in our country.

• The Halal hot cross bun crisis
• The no more Christian magazine sales saga
• The hummingbird pillow huff
• The Frankie’s ginger ale trickery
• The no longer hiring white people saga
• The melodramatic milk saga
• There’s a frog in my salad
• Gross, I bit a condom in my sandwich
• There’s something other than ground up pig bits in my Frankfurter
• This faux fur seems really lifelike…
• The bread that went on a diet & lost weight saga.
• The baby-carrier Bugger-up
• Woolworths water is Thrash!

*I will attempt to keep this list up to date. Please let me know if I have left any out.